” In the wake to make your child something someday, we tend to forget that he/she is someone today”.
Although I read this mind boggling line in my daughter’s pediatrician’s clinic, I just couldn’t take my eyes off and my mind away from its deep meaning. Yes, this is the ultimate truth of today that is ghastly becoming the core of our child’s personality.
With very young age of 2 and 3 years, we force our child to follow the set routine and pattern of pictures, figures, alphabets and certain activities in playschool. Although, we mean no harm, but affirm me that somewhere deep down, we expect our child to excel in anything and everything he/she does. How right is that?
In today’s scenario, with lot of competition all around, I have heard many mums talking and taking pride in little activities of their newly born and toddlers. Like, if a child has started walking at 8 months, then it becomes a matter of grave concern and embarrassment for some mothers due to unsaid and unwanted pressure created by family and friends. My own daughter started walking at the age of 1 year, just after her first birthday. The other day, while discussing these concerns with my friend, I felt that the best way for a child to learn is to let him/her be.
They have their own process and efforts towards everything with huge amount of curiosity and concern. They understand and learn from actions rather than words. I will state one example here. One day I was watching TV when Mr Husband and baby were fighting over a chocolate. Mind it, that was a real sense of fight. And then I heard “Shut-Up” in a small feeble voice of my toddler. My ear shots flung on that response from her as it was the first time I was hearing such word to express extreme reactions from her. I ran to her and confronted her asking why she said that to papa? What she replied, stunned me to no limits. She said that,” Aap bhi to bolte ho papa ko.” Quickly I regained my wits and senses and replied that ” Mumma can say baby as Mumma badi hai. Aap chote ho to nhi bol sakte”. The response was enough for me to faint. ” Jab mei badi ho jaugi tab bolugi papa ko”. Yes, that was the conversation I had with a two and a half year old child.
We always force them to learn things that we tell them but the child’s psyche is such that they learn majorly from our actions and attributes. In order to make them learn a lot, leave them to their own learning process by improving ourselves in actions, traditions and habits. Respect their personality that they have today, coz as they will keep growing, their certain things will be changed forever. Our task as parents is to provide them with such healthy and positive environment that they learn good habits with basic character of confidence, determination, honesty and respect. Teach your child the compassion to yearn for good and positive things in life.
As per my logical thinking, one thing that we all should inculcate in our child as a basic attribute is the ability and agility to take rejection and failure. They will learn this from us, parents and grandparents. Our super desire for our child to excel in every field, takes their innocence and power to handle rejections. Don’t impose your dreams and expectations on them as their sensibilities are not same as ours and they are too small to handle things out of their arena.
Let little minds work according to their little curiosity and efforts for them to have less pressure of expectations and aspirations. Let them decide on their own what they want to do. Let them do mistakes, let them fall. Let them learn to handle their failures with better results next time. This is the best way to make them happy and successful in their life. As, the ultimate truth of life is that, they have to manage on their own someday, when we won’t be there with them forever. Give them a lineage that they can be proud of. The initial struggle and intelligent parenting is what is the need of the hour for a better future for them, us and surroundings.
Give them the freedom to learn, freedom to explore, freedom to observe and freedom to develop. Encourage them with their curiosity, with hope, determination and failures. Just be around as a strong guide who will encourage them in every big or small step they will take and to catch them in times if need.