She was busy talking on a phone when she observed several people giving her a quick glance in the mall. Instantly she became conscious of her otherwise carefree posture, her bright yellow sunshine full length dress, her semi tied, chocolate brown silky hair and of her little bulging tummy. This behaviour of people was new to her as she was out in the mall after quite some time now. Her nausea has prevented her from travelling out of her house to the mall or market for the past three and a half months. She felt anxious and dizzy amidst rush and sweat of people. Today she felt better and most importantly confident of stepping out of her house. She never felt that she could be a person whom people will care to look at. Undue attention was making her fell out-of-place.
For her everything was just the same as it was few months back, except her new-found increased range of smell. She was sensing the smell of things from a kilometer, just to say. But what she was failing to understand was that, why the most natural progression in anybody’s life is so unusual for spectators in respect to her? So she tried to focus on the job in her hand, which was shopping for her new plus size. She always loved shopping and that surely gave her a new lease of happiness. This time it was different though. Somewhere she was fearing of getting several size add ons. She was skeptical of how will she lose the extra inches and after how long? She was in constant touch with her closest friends, who were already mothers to little ones, for every little query she has in mind.
Her heart and mind were always running at a differently paced speed when it comes to thinking about this new phase in her life. She was overjoyed and fearing at the same time of people around her. She was a witness to all the new-found care for herself which allowed her to sleep late and eat whenever she feels like, as well as to all the don’ts she was rendered upon. Not very sure of her decisions regarding parenting and motherhood, she has decided to follow certain blogs, articles and expert advises for her future queries and decisions. But probably she has to let them go without much speculations, as there will be other aspects as well which she is not able to understand herself at such an early age.
She can’t stop herself from thinking of the time when she was disclosed the good news. She was too naive to understand the gravity of the situation at the age of 24 but she was very satisfied and all in smiles seeing the happiness of the would be grandparents and father. They all were in tears of joy and gratitude. She was happy to be a part and reason for their joy. The future was uncertain and wrapped in unseen covers just like it was when she got married. But the journey was a happy one to say the least. It brushed away very quickly just like it will be now. Suddenly a kid brought her back to the present as he ran past her. She became conscious again.
As she was trying on her selected maxi dresses and tees, her chooda was getting stuck in the way. And just like that in her eureka moment she realized what everyone would have been staring at. She surely must be one of the fewest few whom they might be seeing with the chooda and a bump. ‘They must be thinking hard for all the possibility of an unusual scenario. Some might have thought of most cruel things as well’, she thought. But sometimes the reality is as simple as our existence. She was happy for being blessed like a normal being and by grace of God she was showered with a beautiful life with wonderful people. She smiled her triumphed smile as if she was successful in solving the most complex situation in her life.
Looking lovingly at her little bump she thought, rather pledged, to enjoy the prevalent miniscule joys of life and promised herself not to spend lot of her time in thinking and analysing what others might be thinking of her. She will make her child understand that, that much effort is never needed for such unforeseen scenarios. The reality and truth of one’s life is only known to him/her and thus they should be the sole controller of their thoughts, emotions and decisions. Life is simple and she decided to keep it that way by avoiding the over complex situations. This will also be the first lesson she taught her child as a mother. She felt at peace with the connect she felt with her child with this small learning. That’s life..
Disclaimer: The ideas and thoughts portrayed here are purely for reading and inspiration purpose only. It is not illustrated to hurt anybody’s sentiments and feelings. The idea is to put forth the message and not the shortcomings.
Pic Courtesy: source unknown