Short Story 5: The Internal Mayhem

She had all the requisites of a happy and healthy life. At the age just right for a fruitful future and a fulfilling family, she was always restless. As a third person everybody could tell that she was leading a contented life, but there were somethings that were bothering her as an individual. She herself was not able to put forth the reasons. Every morning she used to start her routine with a determination that today is the new dawn for a happy and healthy life. She was doing everything just right to enter into her zone of contentment and nirvana. But alas! She was always in search of mental peace and calm as her mind was filled with endless and chaotic thoughts which were intermingled with each other and pulling her sanity into chains.

Every day she used to ponder as to why the things happened the way they happened. But it was a useless thought as nobody was there to answer her. Reading some of the articles she inferred that the true happiness is in our own hands. So it was ultimately she who has to take the control in her hands for true internal and eternal happiness. Some days would go fine and then again the same story. She was getting caught into her own web of irrational and unimportant thoughts. There was so much thinking but no output for the same. Gradually it started affecting the complete safe environment around her. It started reflecting in the way she handled her relationships. The guard of security was soon replaced by an undying sense of insecurity and inhibition.

She started feeling suffocated with her own irrational concepts towards the unmatched relationships that at some time mattered the most to her. She was always rude and accusing of the precious parts of her life. A gradual carelessness replaced the concern she had for everyone. And what was hitting her really hard was that the people who knew her so well, in spite of  understanding her plight and pulling her out of the web, started detaching themselves from her. Everything became delusional for her.

She was in search of an enlightenment and a divine intervention to make her human again. She still had a little hope to defeat the internal demons and chaos, that were eating her endurance and patience. She still had the desire to get her happy personality back. She analyzed and started doing the thing she enjoyed the most. Although the pain and efforts were tremendous initially, as she was to fight with her own internal demons, she didn’t let her guard fall. She kept trying and thus started looking on all bright things she liked, however little did she found. Gradually, she observed the happy space increasing in her mental zone and the black spot decreasing. Her faith started developing over the belief that one day she will back with her normal sane mind and life. But what she also knew deep down her heart that this dark spot showed her the true meaning of our mere existence.

The life is the way we see it at its face value. The deepness and its meaning is as perspective as we will make it. The life and the moments give everybody his/her freedom to derive their own inferences and meanings. We all do it according to our own mindset. Either its negative or positive, the defying thoughts are like an endless web. Whatever side you choose, good or bad, it will be our calling. We just need to rise above the general and obvious malicious thoughts and opinions and focus on the good and positive side of our mental and social surroundings.

Disclaimer: This story contains my personal thoughts and views and are fictional in their approach. They hold no resemblance to any person, situation or circumstances.

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