Birth is not about making babies,
Its about making mothers;
strong, competent, capable mothers
who trust themselves and believe in their inner strength.-
Barbara Kate Rothman
Today is Mother’s day and what occasion better than this to celebrate my motherhood. Earlier Mother’s day was just about my mother, then, it meant with my MIL also and now with my baby by my side, it holds a new denotation to it. Looking at her I feel that this is a wonderful gift that god has given me along with the big responsibility of looking after her. While I was pregnant, I often use to ponder about this life changing experience and how will I adapt to this change in my life. Before her, it was only me and Mr. Husband singing our duet song but with a baby, everything changes. I was very much worried and thoughtful about our marital relationship with the baby. I did not want to let go of our time and my me time. And thus, near the completion of my pregnancy, I was getting more and more restless about the forthcoming event and the life after.
And then my mother came as an angel. She was one person who took hold of me and the situation and marveled it with perfection. Observing her and looking at her soothed my nerves. She gradually made me ready to hold the big responsibility with open arms. Her positivity towards life and my pregnancy infused me with new energy and positive vibes. I felt lot better about the incoming change in my life. She supported me in this new phase of my life when I was zero in experience and low on self confidence. On this mother’s day, I take this opportunity to say ‘thank you’ to her for her affirmative and favorable presence in my life.
Few months after my baby’s birth, I do realize that this has changed everything forever but in a good way. It would not be wrong to say that I took my own sweet time to gulp the fact that now my routine, likes and dislikes revolve around her. I read it somewhere on social media which is in complete sync with every mother,’Once a mother, always a mother’. My complete life was just revolving around her, feeding her, making her sleep, changing her clothes, doing her work and the most important one, trying to know her every second. Even today I am doing the same things but with fun and perfection. When I became a mother, I started seeing both my mothers with a different perspective altogether. I understood their everyday hard work and sacrifice that they have putted in bringing us up. I started respecting them more when I started wearing their shoes.
Now while seeing her grow, I feel this is the best job that I could have done. Since her birth I have tried to be with her and have taught her umpteen things intentionally and unintentionally. It took lot of will power and patience for me to leave everything and look after my daughter and home. For many people I was just sitting at home because with so many degrees one should work to gain respect and recognition in society. When people use to ask me about my career, I couldn’t say much because I knew, most of them won’t understand. But today I proudly say that I have done the best job in the world and it was the right decision that I took. It all pays off when everyone compliments my daughter for her manners and activities. Its a very satisfying and contended feeling to see everyone happy around her and enjoying her company. The best compliment that I got from many is that they want a baby like my little one. I am on cloud nine with those appreciations and praise. And nothing soothens me more than a hug and kiss from her. I really feels so relieved when she puts my head on her lap and says ‘so jao’.
Mothers are a great source of inspiration. With all my other identities such as a wife, home maker, blogger, daughter, friend, daughter-in-law, there is a off switch. I can very well forget these roles and easily slip into another or just be a no- one. But only till I hear ‘mamma’. As soon as I hear that, I have to be physically, emotionally and mentally present in front of her at that very moment. I just can’t and don’t want to ignore that. So to sum up,
I am a mother even when I am a blogger, I am a mother even when I am a home maker, I am a mother even when I am a wife, I am a mother even when I am a daughter , I am a mother even when I am gossiping with my besties, I am a mother while taking the biggest as well as the smallest decision in life. I have to leave everything and be a ‘momma’ all the time. I carry my this identity along with me whatever the situation be.
It goes against our very nature as women and moms to take care of ourselves. To take this a step further, we would never think to take care of ourselves first.
I have always seen my mother working round the clock since morning irrespective of the weather or her health. Same goes with my MIL. As much as I try to reason out with them to take it easy in life and try to do something for themselves and for once include in the routine something they enjoy.But they always put in the demands of the family before theirs. Hats off to them. However I don’t want to inculcate these habits in my routine. I like to begin my day with something that I enjoy doing like writing my blog. Morning is the best time for me to write as there is lot of peace and freshness in the morning with the Mr Husband and the little one having a nice morning sleep (even though I feel sleep deprived by the end of the day and I crash on bed as soon as the clock strikes 11). I believe these self inclusive habits make for a more relaxed, happy, and productive mom. It also gives me lots of confidence in my writing as my mind is fresh in the morning with no previous thoughts and baggage.Building a habitual early morning routine, gives me more time, energy, and productivity. This is probably the best way to set myself up for a productive day, in less than an hour or sometimes more than an hour.
Whether I agree with their habits or not, I cannot deny the time and backbreaking work they have done for the better part of their lives. Its very difficult for me to imagine myself at their position as it takes a lot more perseverance than what I have. So I will surely take this opportunity to say thank you to both my mothers for their numerous advice when I am not in a sane mind.
One more thing that gives me immense happiness is seeing both my grandmothers with my baby. I can see the joy and the love they have for her, in her eyes. I think the happiness is many folds more when you see the fourth generation of your family. I remember those days after the little one’s birth, when I use to sleep at night giving her to my grandmother to look after her. She would happily take her so that I can get some rest. Thanks a lot Amma, for your enough amount of love and support that you have always shower upon me.
I strongly believe that physical gifts are also necessary some times to express your emotions. Although Mr Husband has a different view as he feels that why to wait for some special days to gift them when one can show their love daily through emotions. I believe that, that is a debatable topic and I will leave it for some other post.
Apart from gifting, I will also give them an advice to take care of themselves. I will ask them to take some time out from their busy routine for themselves and do one thing everyday which makes them happy even if its as small and as unnoticeable as a good nap. Its very important for them to take care of themselves as they have done the same for us for the better part of their lives
So this mothers day, my write up is dedicated to all those special ladies in my life, whose personality and deeds have strongly influenced my upbringing. A big Thank You to them for all their love, support and kindness.
Happy Mother’s Day